Thoughts of Our Fathers (TOF)

Catch Z's and please your spouse.

In today’s busy world, we don’t leave ourselves much time to recuperate from our hectic schedules. In the United States alone, as many as 50-70 million adults report having sleep or wakefulness disorders including conditions like snoring and sleep apnea.

These sleep obstructions don’t just interfere with our restfulness. Lack of sleep can also impact the happiness in our relationships.



A study conducted by Florida State University found that when husbands and wives get more sleep than they usually do on the average night, the following day, they report increased happiness and satisfaction in their marriage. Basically, more time spent sleeping leads to a more content relationship.

These findings makes it even more imperative to get a good night's sleep even though it isn’t always easy. The average adult needs at least 7-8 hours of sleep per night but reports getting less than 6 hours instead.

In order to unlock the benefits of more sleep, you have to get the restfulness.Consider making some night time upgrades to bring more pleasant dreams to you and your partner.
1. Makeover Your Bedroom



If your bedroom isn’t conducive to rest, you won’t be getting the extra shut-eye you need. There are a few easy ways to makeover your bedroom into a more comfy and inviting space.

Invest in thick blackout curtains that will obscure outdoor street lights or the morning sun and let the soothing darkness lull you into a restful sleep.

What you sleep on matters too so look into high count, light weight sheets or a quilted mattress topper to pamper your tired body. Once you feel comfy and relaxed, restful sleep isn’t too far behind.
2. Ban The Gadgets



There’s no doubt that we like to spend time on our electronics, but that's part of what is keeping us awake. Fix that by banning electronics in the bedroom.

Set a curfew and enforce it when using phones, computers, and tablets. The stimulation you get from checking your electronics before bed and in the middle of the night prevents your brain from entering into deep sleep.

Also consider limiting television use at night. Falling asleep with the T.V. on will prevent restful sleep because of the light and noise it will fill your bedroom with. Ban the screens an hour before you plan to sleep and use that time to let your brain wind down instead.
3. Eat Better To Sleep Better



What we put into our bodies matters. What you had for breakfast yesterday may control how you’re sleeping tonight so be conscious of what you’re taking in and when.

Stimulants like coffee and alcohol need to be avoided close to bedtime. You also wouldn’t want to try sleeping right after a big meal. It will make you feel sleepy, but that sleep will be restless because of responses from the digestive process.

While it’s important to stay hydrated all day, drinking lots of water before bed will keep you up all night. If you need a snack before bedtime, choose a banana, almonds, or low-fat yogurt. All are great natural sleep aids.

Extra sleep will make you more energetic, focused, and happier so don’t skimp on the sleepytime. After all, if it means having the marriage of your dreams, it’s worth it to spend a little extra time in dreamland.

Leave it all behind.

Everywhere it seems that people are working on self-improvement; some work to transform their physique, some their spiritual health and others focus on their relationships.

Self-improvement is a powerful first step towards living with greater strength, yet we may be ready for a deeper and more complete transformation of ourselves.

Some fix their weight, yet their pain is still there. Others cut ties to those that drain them, yet their anxieties remain.

Transformation is all encompassing and requires us to get real about what ails us.

In the natural world, hosts of animals undergo a metamorphosis, changing all aspects of themselves in order to better adapt to their environment. Similarly, our own metamorphosis awaits.

What is it that no longer serves you?

Research has found that people are often stuck in self-defeating behaviors such as: putting ourselves last on our list of priorities, spending money we don’t have on things that are not a priority, drinking excessively to escape our thoughts and worries, overeating to cope with stress and a paralyzing worry about what others think of us.

Clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine, Dr. Daniel Siegel found that lasting personal transformation happens as we change those bad habits. Transforming our thoughts, our breathingand belief in ourselves promotes lasting change in our lives.

Dr. Siegel reminds us that, “the mind is like the ocean. And deep in the ocean, beneath the surface, it is calm and clear.”

When we start overeating and drinking to excess, we stop and ask why.

When we overspend, pick up that dreaded phone call instead of working out and continue to put ourselves last on our list of priorities, we use our thoughts to make an immediate shift.

Tell yourself to: put the item back, set down that phone and that taking care of yourself is not a luxury but a necessity.

Our thoughts hold the power to shift our lives. Like the depths of the magnificent ocean, inside ourselves is the calm, clear guidance for which we’ve been searching all along.

It’s time to give yourself the credit you deserve.

Sometimes, no one can be tougher on us than us.

The secret thoughts that live in each of us threaten our peace. It is one thing to be introspective, or to wonder if we could have done things differently, but it is another to perpetuate a false, negative internal script.

Outwardly we may act as if we have things all together, but inside we level some of our own harshestcriticisms. We must stop beating ourselves up and start giving credit where it’s due!

Researchers at the University of Michigan have found that carrying forward a false internal script actually damages our self esteem and threatens our future success. The words we choose to repeat to ourselves matter.

They found that, “small shifts in the language people use to refer to the self during introspection...influence their ability to regulate their thoughts, feelings and behaviors.”

We often lie to ourselves (about ourselves) saying words and phrases like: “I’m broken”, “too fat”, “scared”, “not smart enough” or “lost”.

These lies we tell ourselves must stop; our words must speak peace into our own hearts.

Oscar award winning actress Viola Davis once said, “Who you are is good enough. I believe that the privilege of a lifetime is being who you are, truly being who you are.”

We are so much more than we even know!

We are whole, complete and worthy of love as is, scars and all.

The woman behind Luna Juice Bar embodies her unique name – Summer Shine – but that wasn’t always the case.

(Photo: Luna Juice Bar)

The woman behind Luna Juice Bar embodies her unique name – Summer Shine – but that wasn’t always the case.

A few years ago, Shine was homeless in New Orleans with a husband about to leave her, a son who wouldn’t take her calls, and a mother who was planning her funeral. The path to become her shining self again, and a successful business owner has been years in the making and included a painful, dark relapse.



But today, Shine’s juice bar employs fifteen people and grosses over $30,000 per month serving delicious juices and smoothies at locations in and around Waco, Texas. Shine got back on her feet with the help of Center for Peace, a Victoria, Texas-based social enterprise that helps women rebuild their lives. After nine months of sobriety, Shine and her husband, Ronnie, reconciled and began to pursue their long time dream of starting a juicing business.


#Repost @lovelyenterprises ・・・ Did you know that you can pick up fresh, cold-pressed Luna Juice in our Lovely shop? We carry their four Signature juices-Beetlejuice, Liquid Sunshine, Green Goodies and Hangover Cure! #shoplocal #drinklocal #socialenterprise #waco

A post shared by Luna Juice Bar (@lunajuicebar) on Mar 24, 2017 at 10:29am PDT



They approached the business volunteers at the Center for Peace, a social enterprise of Perpetual Help Home in Victoria, TX for a micro-loan to launch Luna Juice Bar – and received it.

“We’re the most risky population of people you could hand a check to,” Shine told the Waco Tribune last year. “The crazy thing is, I took that $5,000 and I spent it on exactly what I said I’d spend it on. I didn’t buy crack or go back to New Orleans.”

Shine paid off the micro-loan ahead of time, then pitched to Center for Peace – and a few other potential investors – for an equity investment to expand Luna Juice Bar.


What a beautiful day! Come see us at the Silos and #getalljuicedup #wacotown

A post shared by Luna Juice Bar (@lunajuicebar) on Jan 20, 2017 at 9:12am PST



The pitch was successful: Luna Juice Bar secured a $40,000 investment with each of four investors owning 5% of the company. People one step away from incarceration and addiction don’t appear to be the most likely group of entrepreneurs. But Cheryl Miller, leader of Center for Peace, and her team see every person as created in God’s image and talented in unique ways, recognizing that some women are entrepreneurs at heart.

Shine says Luna Juice Bar played a “huge role” in her recovery. The first six to nine months are the hardest and most vital to recovery, Shine says. Resurrecting a business idea she has had since 1998 gave her purpose, with her faith in Christ strengthening every step of her journey.

The success of Luna Juice Bar, and the impact it has had on Shine’s life, highlight the opportunity we all have to serve others by helping them achieve their dream.

No need to guilt trip.

There’s a never ending list of needs that parents must meet to ensure their child grows to be a happy and well adjusted adult. No parent is perfect and mistakes are bound to be made, but some mistakes have harsher results than others.

For example, recent research has found that high levels of guilt experienced in childhood results in a greater likelihood of psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, and OCD later in life.

This study’s findings raise the question, What’s the source of this guilt? and the data shows it’s originating from their parents.

Parents mistakenly use guilt-inducing tactics as a motivator to encourage or deter certain behaviors in their children. Kids whose parents' use these tactics often internalize the feelings of anxiety and depression that guilt causes. Lack of resolution can cause greater problems to manifest in adulthood if these issues are ignored.



In order to avoid contributing unnecessary guilt, parents must use healthier and more flexible ways to appeal to their children and still get the results they are looking for.

The first step in letting go of the guilt is letting go of perfection. Clinical psychologist Dr Jodi Stoner, Ph.D, believes parents today are obsessed with being "perfect."

The pressure of being perfect drives parents to use practices that offer short term resolution while not addressing the real issue, usually at the detriment of their child. Instead, consider giving yourself a break and accepting that it’s effort and intentions that are more important than perfect results.



Having a clear plan for discipline will also cut the guilt. Children react poorly when they don’t know what to expect when being disciplined. If punishments vary drastically and are noticeably unfair, kids will assume the worst when punished. This uncertainty creates anxiety but it can be avoided with fair discipline and clear communication.

Allowing yourself as a parent to take a break provides the time you need to re-evaluate your approach with a clear head instead of parenting while feeling upset, frustrated, or angry.

You should also understand that not all behavior warrants a response. As a parent, we have to pick our battles sometimes by dropping smaller issues so bigger ones don’t evolve from nothing.



Parenting is as much a joy as it is a challenge but if we work to parent from a place of positivity, we can have all the happiness of raising children with none of the guilt.

A little hope a day keeps the doctor away.

Dr. Orison Swett Marden once said, “There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.”

Those words are being reinforced by recent findings by psychologists and medical doctors about the positive health effects of having a little hope.

For example, one study found that those who reported feeling hopeless were more likely to have major health issues including premature death. Hope created by success in school and the workplace also improves health due to higher levels of happiness.

Knowing the good of maintaining high levels of hope for our well being serves as proper encouragement to take actionable steps to increase hope. Here are some ways to get your daily dose of hope.
1. Practice Self Kindness.



Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.

When our negative inner monologue gets going, it can strip us of our self worth. If we don’t feel that we’re worth good things, then we can’t help manifest goodness in our lives.

Instead, take 10 minutes out of each day to list all the great things about yourself as a reminder of all of your worth and potential still left untapped.
2. Nix the News.



As important as it is to stay informed of current events, sometimes all that information can get overwhelming. Stepping away from the temptation of constantly staying connected can give a much needed break from bad news.

Without that overload of information, you’ll free up your thinking power for a more hopeful focus. Allow yourself to daydream instead and imagine the sort of world you would like to see this one become someday.
3. Make a Difference.



Giving back can be incredibly rewarding but it also offers us a chance for an additional dose of hope.

Consider sparing some time for a cause you find worthy and personally appealing. Volunteering, fundraising, or offering resources will all be greatly appreciated by those you help and are all extremely fulfilling.

The time you spend giving will instill a sense of optimistic purpose in you along with the feeling that you can help change the world.
4. Look For A Laugh.



Laughing not only feels good, but it is good for you!

Researchers have learned that “hopefulness increased significantly after watching the humor video" shown to patients.

Opt for watching your favorite comedy when hope is feeling a little low or spend some time with friends or loved ones who are always good for a giggle. Belly laughs won’t be the only benefit you get out of it!

When you start feeling like you’re suffering from a hope deficiency, take a daily dose for a revitalized sense of optimism and happiness. It’s just what the doctor ordered.

Another great tip for singles willing to wait for the best mate.

This is another way of saying, know your non-negotiables and stick to them. If you go to the mall to buy a dress, you will be there all day if you don’t have an idea of the kind of dress you’re looking for, the color, and the price range, But if you know in advance, your search will go much faster. Know what you’re looking for in a mate, and you can eliminate very quickly unqualified candidates. Psychologist Neil Clark Warren says, know your “must haves” and you “can’t stands.”

While you’re single, you should have a list. What are the absolute essentials you are looking for in a mate? What is your value system? What do you believe you are called to do and what kind of mate would complement that calling? What are the things you cannot tolerate? If you must marry someone gainfully employed and you meet someone without a job (and he’s not looking for one and hasn’t worked in years), you don’t need to go past a conversation. Case closed.

Your “can’t stand” list may include someone who is verbally abusive, lazy, or who has children. The list is different for each person. God allows us to have preferences. After all, we all like different foods, cars, and clothing. That’s OK. God likes diversity, but you need to know what you are about before you meet someone. What is it you can’t live with? A dirty man? Someone who is jealous, or who uses profanity? Some women don’t mind if the man is unemployed, as long as he’s good looking and wants her. Whatever works for you.

The more you know your qualifications and expectations before you meet someone, the easier it will be to discern if this person is for you. Think about it. We use this procedure in other areas of our lives. When we decide to become homeowners, we go through a process of elimination: Do I want a condo, townhouse, or single family home? Do I want to live in the city or suburbs? Which neighborhood? What can I afford? Do I want a new house or an older one? Is a garage mandatory?

If all these questions and others are decided beforehand, the search will be more productive. You can tell the realtor exactly what you’re looking for. You would be upset if you told the agent you are interested only in single-family homes in a certain community at a certain price, yet every day she calls you up about a condo in an undesirable neighborhood. You would probably get another agent because the person is not respecting your decision making and instead is trying to steer you in a direction you do not want to go.

But how many of us say we know what we want in a man, but we aren’t willing to wait for it? We takeany man who comes by, even if he’s not what we’ve been praying for. We are just thrilled to have a man, any man! We need to be more discriminating and determined to wait for what God wants to give us. We usually live with regrets when we don’t.

Never give up.

Many people look back at their time in high school as the best years of their lives. It should be a time for fun, friends, and for discovering who you are.

While teenage life holds so much potential, for Liyjon DeSilva, his teenage years only offered uncertainty.

Orphaned at the age five, Liyjon spent his childhood passed between different relatives until he was eventually turned away and left with no other option. As a homeless teen, it could have been easy for Liyjon to slip into the convenient vices of crime and drugs, but he wanted more for himself.



Instead of falling into a life of crime, Liyjon threw himself into his academics, going to class during the day and spending his nights sleeping in public parks. “I have a chance, why not just keep going?”Liyjon shared and it was that thought which kept him going during his most challenging times.

He spent 3 years living this way, making the best out of his dismal situation, before educators at his school noticed and reached out a helping hand.

Liyjon’s principle and several teachers became involved in assuring his well being, setting Liyjon up with housing and assistance. The adults in his life stepped up in order to give him support and guidance, the kind Liyjon had been lacking without a family for so long.




That extra push gave was a great motivator that helped focus Liyjon’s studies. At the age of 20, Liyjon graduated in the top 5% of his class. Not only that, he also received a full scholarship to Carleton College thanks to his hard work and a nomination for the Posse Scholarship.



We can never allow the circumstances we find ourselves in to define the direction of our lives. If we do, we may never achieve our true destinies. Like Liyjon, we have to work towards our better selves no matter the struggles we face.

The optimism and boundless potential Liyjon missed out on as a teenager now fills up the future he worked so hard for. And that future looks brighter than ever.

Don't let the fear of rejection keep you out of the game.

We have all heard the success stories of Oprah, Bill Gates, JK Rowling, Michael Jordan, Madonna and a host of other celebrities or public figures who have sold millions over the last few years. It is a given that each one of these individuals all have success in common but did you know they also share one other common denominator?

Rejection.

- Oprah was fired from her job in television.

- Bill Gates was rejected by IBM.

- JK Rowling was denied by several book publishers.

- Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team and Madonna was rejected by a movie producer.

How you handle rejection has the power to determine your destiny. Each one of these individuals could have chosen to live in defeat after their rejections; however, they chose to do what very few people do. They chose to keep going because they realized that if the worst had already happen, only the best was yet to come.

Want to learn how you can turn your rejection into a life changing experience?

Here are 5 ways you can use rejection to propel you to your destiny:

It’s where power and potential intersect.

You are exactly where you need to be.

Every step, tumble and break has polished you; your resilience is beyond measure. Regardless of what people say, or what problems may come, know that you are on the right path.

You will fulfill your purpose on this earth--without a doubt.

Feeling unanchored or lost is completely normal, temporary and will pass. It is precisely during life’s toughest storms when we cultivate our deepest understanding and knowledge of ourselves and our potential.

Pablo Picasso said, “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” In fact our purpose in life is found when our power and potential align. When we acknowledge, define and celebrate our strengths, we are not only unstoppable, but of great benefit to others.

Researchers in the Department of Psychology at Trent University found that people who connected with meaning and purpose in life experienced more physical and emotional well-being. In contrast, they found that when someone experiences “Meaninglessness...it can lead to symptoms of anxiety, depression, hopelessness, or physical decline.”

The study examined the well-being and life attitudes of three hundred men and women of all ages. Time and again, those who were able to identify their personal strengths and exhibit patience with themselves (as they built upon these strengths) felt their life had a purpose and direction.

What is your purpose in life?

If you are skilled at emotionally supporting others, do so. If you have a gift for song, share it. If your focus is social justice, connect with the right causes.

Come alive with your purpose and build the life you’ve always known was possible.

There are some people we will never give up on.

When we love someone, we must do so completely--with all that we have to give.

But how do you love someone who has been broken? And what if your love is not enough?

In the U.S., over 60% of adults report having experienced abuse or difficult family circumstances during their childhood. This early pain often translates into destructive patterns or coping mechanism in adulthood.

Researchers at Harvard found that traumatic events indeed overwhelm a person’s existing coping mechanisms leaving them susceptible to addiction, depression, anxiety and other self-destructive behaviors. Those in our lives may suffer from these maladies causing us to struggle with how to help.

Too often, no matter how much love we pour into their wounds, we cannot heal their pain.

When those we love are still hurting, we do well to remember that we didn’t tear that hole in their hearts. And as much as we try, it is not our burden to fix it. Instead, we can offer our consistent love, presence and support. Our love should be the light in their lives, ever-present and teeming with warmth.

For that someone that we will never give up on, our love is a mirror of truth reflecting their goodness, their true nature and above all, their worth.

Get down and ring in the joy!

What does hope sound like?

For patients, families, and caregivers at the Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh, hope sounds like the ringing of bell.

Children come to this hospital to receive treatments for their cancer and, at the end of every difficult round of chemo, each child rings the hospital’s bell to signify the hope that their journey to wellness has completed.



One of these triumphant celebrations was captured when 6 year old Jimmy Spagnolo was given the chance to ring in after his year long chemotherapy treatment concluded. Dressed as the true superhero that he is, Jimmy did a victory dance and cheered along with his family and the hospital staff.


When facing matters that feel insurmountable, it’s important to hold on to that which offers us hope and joy in order to arrive safely on the other side of our struggles. These small comforts can manifest as anything; even as the promise of ringing a victory bell.

For families like Jimmy’s, that ringing bell at the end of their long struggle is the sweetest sound in the world.

It pays to work at having fun.

By all accounts, you’re a successful business person. You’ve put a lot of thought and work into moving ahead and now you’re reaping the rewards.

For some people, though, professional success can come at the expense of personal relationships. But that doesn’t have to happen to you. In fact, the very same habits that propel you to business success can work wonders in your romantic life.

Employ these 3 workplace habits and to make the most of your date night.

Embrace your singleness, make the most of the season.

Do you realize your singleness is a gift? I'm embarrassed to think how much precious time I've wasted over the years dreaming and longing for a loving relationship. One day, I realized that my singleness is actually a precious gift. My initial reaction was, "No, let this gift pass me by. I want to give it back. I want a man. I want to be a wife." However, I finally accepted that this gift, like every gift from God, is good.

While single make the most of your singleness. Accept it. Embrace it. Maximize it. Why not celebrate this season? There are specific things you are to learn, develop, and do. There are places to go and people's lives to impact. Why waste this season focusing on what you don't have when you could be making the most of this opportunity? Live in the present, not in the future. Seize every opportunity, because tomorrow is not promised.

Let's say you are 25 years old and you can buy a house, but you refuse to because your dream is to buy your first house with your mate. What you don't know is you will not meet your future mate until you are 38. Look at all the unfruitful time. You have thirteen years to live in your own home, be a wise steward of your money, and be in a better position to buy a nicer home (if you want to) when Mr. or Miss Right comes along.

Use your season of singleness as a time to fully develop your gifts, get that next degree, and start your dream business. Looking at single life correctly will shape you into a 1st Class Single whose possibilities are endless and awesome. Pursue them with great vigor. Be busy in your calling and in your area of giftedness. Take an inventory of yourself. What are your strengths physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and vocationally? Capitalize on them. Fully develop and nourish them. Now is the time to do it.

Rehab your rage.

We all know someone who seems to always be involved in a conflict. They seem to love to argue, are always itching for a fight, or purposely push all the right buttons to get a rise out of those around them.

What makes some people so constant in their anger? The answer may be biological.

When we are in the middle of conflict, our “fight or flight” instinct kicks in to help us respond to the perceived danger. This response is initiated by the release of the stress hormone cortisol by the adrenal gland.



While cortisol is important to a healthy system, it can also produce a chemical “high” that can be addictive.

Normally, cortisol lowers once danger is gone but if a person constantly exposes themselves to high stress situations such as those caused by anger and conflict, their system never completely processes the cortisol. This causes the biological system to remain polluted, so to speak, with the excess chemical.

According to Debbie Mandel, stress management specialist and author of "Addicted to Stress," once we become more and more exposed to high levels of cortisol caused by increased conflict and stress, “like a drug addict, (we) need a bigger fix all the time.”



Though it’s hard to avoid anger and stress, we don’t have to become adrenaline junkies.

There are different strategies that can be used to kick the habit and work on keeping both anger and cortisol release at bay.

Enjoying more laughter in life can help reduce the stress caused by cortisol and increase endorphin that are healthier for our minds and bodies. Practicing mindfulness through meditation or prayer and focusing on supportive personal connections instead of toxic friendships works towards reducing stress, a major contributor to cortisol production.



Just like any addiction, kicking your anger is a process. Once the need to turn every interaction into a fight mellows out, the adverse effects of cortisol addiction can be cut off.

We can’t accomplish it simply by going “cold turkey” but anger addiction can be kicked like any other bad habit!

Sometimes it's your fault.

When a misfortune strikes us, often our first instinct is to ask “Why did this happen?”. Quickly, we jump to wondering “Who is responsible?”.

Why do we go looking for someone to hold responsible for our difficulties instead of focusing on fixing them? Why do we place finding solutions as less important than finding fault?

It is because we have a deep seated need to blame.

So, what is to “blame” for our need to blame? In a study published by the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers have found that pointing the finger of blame is actually a social condition.

During the study, participants who read stories blaming others for a major issue were more likely to participate in spreading blame when surveyed than those who had read an impartial story or one where blame was shared.

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We pick up on social queues and adopt behaviors that we think are acceptable making the blame game justifiable.

The study further went on to research how participants held themselves responsible. When reading articles that pointed the finger at a specific individual, they were quicker to blame others for their own troubles.

However, when reading about instances where responsibility was shared or owned up to, participants were more willing to accept their role in creating their own issues.

When others take responsibility for their faults, we feel more comfortable owning up to our own failures.



Though the need to blame is a normal social condition, it does not make it an inescapable one. There are ways we can look at the nature of finding fault and destroy its hold on us.

We can start by no longer participating in the blame game.



As the study found, we feel more comfortable admitting to our own culpability if we feel others have also admitted to their own. These results hold the key for dismantling our need to blame.

We can remove the shame associated with self blame by regularly accepting personal responsibility for our actions. This will encourage others to do the same until passing the buck is no longer the norm.

If we are able to minimize the social acceptability of pointing the finger at others, we can proudly take the blame for ending our need to blame.

She blinged out his bible and made a beautiful gift.

The Bible is a source for strength for many, but for one young couple it has also become a symbol of their supportive love for each other.

When Reagan Lee was going through personal hardships, her boyfriend, Garrett Chisum, gifted her with his personal bible to offer her comfort, guidance, and relief.


he made me put the flower in my hair pic.twitter.com/9MPkPL1ty1— reagan (@reaganlee17) August 16, 2016


The gift touched Reagan so much that she wanted to return the favor with her own labor of love. The 16 year old spent 3 months personally decorating each page of the gifted bible in order to turn it into a loving present for her boyfriend.


my bf said he wanted a bible for Christmas so i spent 3 months decorating every. single. page. happy with how it turned out though :) pic.twitter.com/2vLQuBwYR5— reagan (@reaganlee17) December 25, 2016


Garrett received the updated bible with illustrations, personal thoughts, and highlighted quotes that are significant to the pair’s relationship. Of course, he loved it!

Showing someone we love them doesn't have to be difficult. It’s the heartfelt gestures that can impact our loved ones the most and make them feel cared for--the same way Reagan and Garrett have done for each other.

A dating rule for women that should not be ignored.

God has built into a man a strong desire to be the initiator in relationships. That’s part of his manhood. He wants to seize the challenge.

The Bible says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). It does not say, “She who goes looking!” A man loves the pursuit. Trust me. When he sees what he wants, he goes after it. If a man you adore is not pursuing you, he is not interested in you.

Let’s settle this once and for all. He is not shy. You do not intimidate him. He does not need your help. One of my brothers (who had a lot of experience dating) told me: “If a man is interested, no distance will stand in the way. But if he is not interested, you can live next door, and that’s too far for him to go.”

Now if you are determined to take the initiative, to approach a man with free tickets to a concert, Sunday dinner at your place, or access to your new sports car, and he takes you up on all of the offers, but he’s still not interested, then “W.I.I.F.M” is at play. (The same brother taught me this). W.I.I.F.M stands for: “What’s in it for me?”

In other words, he’s using you, and you are allowing him to do so. Does he only respond to your “freebies” and never suggests a date on his own where he pays? Do you call more than he does? Are you always the one planning the holiday get-togethers? Then face the facts: He is not interested!



I learned this rule the hard way. If only I had known what I know now: Men always pursue the women who catch their eye.

There is beauty in shadows.

The world if filled with a latent, often hidden, beauty; sometimes it needs to be teased out of the ordinary and mundane. The artwork of Turkish calligraphist Tolga Girgin does just that.

When he posted this video of him sketching faces formed from different shadows cast by a wrinkled piece of paper, it went viral. More than 8 million people have the seen the video.

The artwork reminds us to pursue beauty and meaning even in the shadows of life.

What beauty can you see today that you may have never noticed before? What role can you play in bringing it to life?

You can’t go high if you’re aiming low.

Humans were not meant to live alone. We seek each other out and form relationships to better our lives and share our love. But these partnerships can be difficult to maintain.

When different personalities and perspectives are brought together, there is bound to be some friction in the union. Conflict can be healthy but if the fight’s not fair, it allows that friction to grow into a fire that will be hard to extinguish.

In order to disagree effectively in a relationship, we’ve got to learn how to fight fair.
1. Communication is key.



The key to a healthy relationship is communication, but knowing the theory and applying the practice are two different things.


In order to effectively communicate, we must understand that communication flows both ways. Both partners need to have equal opportunity to express their hurt, anger, and frustration in a way that will be heard without judgement.
2. Know when to take a timeout.



Words can be said in the heat of the moment that can never be taken back, so it’s important to know when it’s time to take a break. Agreeing to take a timeout when things get too intense can help with calmer communication and avoiding the impulse to fight dirty.
3. Don’t be a mind reader.



Mind reading, assuming what a partner is thinking or feeling and acting on that assumption, can sink any productive resolution Inserting our own observations and assumptions onto our partner gives us a false reality. Instead of making assumptions about their feelings, couples must practice the power of silence and actually listen to what their partner is really saying
4. Know what’s off limits and avoid it.



When in a relationship, each partner becomes privy to the other person’s secrets, flaws, insecurities, and embarrassments. That information is not meant to be used as ammo in a fight. Our need to remove personal blame and our instinct to hurt before we are hurt can cause us to dig up painful subjects from the past and turn them into weapons to use against the person we love.

Instead, assess which topics are off limits and respect those restrictions.
5. Stop keeping score.



It’s harmful to stockpile hurt as a reminder of the times we have felt slighted because doing so limits our ability to move past those feeling of distress.

Keeping score in a relationship keeps pain fresh on the surface instead of allowing it to heal. Holding on to negativity as a defense mechanism only creates more negativity. When a partner keeps track of hurt, it only causes the other to do the same

Instead, couples must treat each encounter as if both partners have a clean slate so old wounds from the past can be allowed to heal.

Once a couple learns to fight fair, conflict can be healthy.