All The Happiness, None Of Guilt - Bishop T.D Jakes

No need to guilt trip.

There’s a never ending list of needs that parents must meet to ensure their child grows to be a happy and well adjusted adult. No parent is perfect and mistakes are bound to be made, but some mistakes have harsher results than others.

For example, recent research has found that high levels of guilt experienced in childhood results in a greater likelihood of psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, and OCD later in life.

This study’s findings raise the question, What’s the source of this guilt? and the data shows it’s originating from their parents.

Parents mistakenly use guilt-inducing tactics as a motivator to encourage or deter certain behaviors in their children. Kids whose parents' use these tactics often internalize the feelings of anxiety and depression that guilt causes. Lack of resolution can cause greater problems to manifest in adulthood if these issues are ignored.



In order to avoid contributing unnecessary guilt, parents must use healthier and more flexible ways to appeal to their children and still get the results they are looking for.

The first step in letting go of the guilt is letting go of perfection. Clinical psychologist Dr Jodi Stoner, Ph.D, believes parents today are obsessed with being "perfect."

The pressure of being perfect drives parents to use practices that offer short term resolution while not addressing the real issue, usually at the detriment of their child. Instead, consider giving yourself a break and accepting that it’s effort and intentions that are more important than perfect results.



Having a clear plan for discipline will also cut the guilt. Children react poorly when they don’t know what to expect when being disciplined. If punishments vary drastically and are noticeably unfair, kids will assume the worst when punished. This uncertainty creates anxiety but it can be avoided with fair discipline and clear communication.

Allowing yourself as a parent to take a break provides the time you need to re-evaluate your approach with a clear head instead of parenting while feeling upset, frustrated, or angry.

You should also understand that not all behavior warrants a response. As a parent, we have to pick our battles sometimes by dropping smaller issues so bigger ones don’t evolve from nothing.



Parenting is as much a joy as it is a challenge but if we work to parent from a place of positivity, we can have all the happiness of raising children with none of the guilt.