Brothers And Sisters - Bishop T.D Jakes

Sometimes your closest friends are family.

Throughout our lives, we form bonds: familial, friendships, partnerships. Some last and some don’t. In the book of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon reminds us that relationships are a source of support, comfort, and strength, for “a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”  Sibling relationships are especially important.  They can be our longest-lasting family tie, our true partners for life, but only if we nurture the relationship.

At first blush, it might seem like there are thousands of things you need to do in order to maintain a tight bond with your siblings. But the truth is we formed our bonds in childhood and only need a few ways to secure these lasting bonds.

1. Stay Connected

It would be a shame to arrive at our destination only to find out that our most important relationships have drifted away. Unless we nurture our relationships with our siblings, our bonds will loosen and we will grow apart. If visiting is not possible, embrace technology. Don’t just rely on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter to keep track of your siblings doings. Follow up, send a text letting them know you are thinking of them, or email a funny reminder of something from childhood. Acknowledge each other’s milestones and family events by sending ecards, text, or gifts. Schedule time to chat through Skype or FaceTime. All these little ways that we reach out keep the lines of communication open so that trust and intimacy can take root.

2. Skip Down Memory Lane

We also nurture our relationships by remembering the past. As we travel through life we often don’t get the opportunity to sail back through memory lane. However, there is a wealth of connection and insight stored in our childhood. Pull out the family albums and dig through the attic. If time and resources permit, plan a sibling vacation to a favorite family vacation spot. Allow the sights, sounds and smells to bring back the laughter and the tears. By revisiting the past, we can strengthen the knots that bond us in our childhood.  

3. Cast A Line

Another key way to build intimacy with our siblings is to cast a line out and let ourselves be known and seen for who we are becoming. Reach out to your siblings and let yourself be known. The more we are vulnerable about the changes, trial, and tribulations in our lives, the more we invite our siblings to share their fears and hopes like they did when we were children. Welcome your siblings’ struggles with words of encouragement and offers of help. Your siblings will appreciate your concern. Knowing that our brothers/sisters can hold our fears and hopes without judgement provides us a solid base of support, safety and comfort.  Siblings become the dock that we can tie ourselves to temper the storms of life.

As we sail through life exploring and creating new bonds, let us not forget that our siblings hold the key to our core identity. During the trials and tribulations of growing up and the shared experiences, we developed knots that tethered us to our sisters and brothers in a way that no other relationship can. Now, we can continue to reap the rewards by staying connected,

By practicing these three ways to secure knots with our siblings, we will always have a companion at our side.