Thoughts of Our Fathers (TOF)

Developing new healthy relationships can start with an intentional introduction.

Most of us want to make more friends—not just online friends like on social media, but people we can share experiences with.

But in our busy lifestyles, we leave little time to meet new people and get to know them on a personal level.

A friend of mine recently invited me to a themed event called Conscious Contact. All he told me about the gathering was, “I'm having a get together so all my friends can get to know each other.” What a great way to meet new friends, I thought to myself. “I’ll be there!” I replied.

The gathering took place from 8:00 PM on a Saturday night until 8:00 AM the next morning. Fifty people from all walks of life, races, and religions spent the next 12 hours in a large rented house in Palm Springs. Most of us didn’t know each other, but we had all agreed that we would make conversation with every other attendee throughout the night. Instead of small talk, however, we were required to find something interesting about the other person while also sharing something interesting in return.

The first person I met was Rosario, an actress from New York City. “Are you a Christian?” she asked. “My brother recently became a believer!” “Yes!” I said, surprised by the sudden question. I then proceeded to share with her what God has done in my life and how I came to faith.

We have since shared a few Thursday Night Football games together.

Then there was Malloy, a singer from Los Angeles who came up to me and asked “Are you listening?”

“Am I listening?” I replied.

“Are you listening to what the Spirit is saying?” he continued.

“We should be friends?”

“No!” he said, ”We are already brothers!”

Since that night, he’s invited me to see him perform and we’ve hung out together.

The evening seemed to fly by as we mixed, mingled and shared with one another. At the end of the event, people were hugging and exchanging contact information.

“This was the best event I’ve ever been to,” said Denise, as she was saying goodbye to my friend hosting the event. She said that as a waitress from Las Vegas, “I meet a lot of people on my job but this was a great way to really get to know someone better. I know I’ve developed some new friends here. Thank you so much!”

After the event, I realized people can make conscious contact with anyone anywhere and increase their circle of friends. The idea may be daunting, but the reward is worth the discomfort. Next time you see someone you’re interested in knowing, say, “Hi, my name is ____. What’s yours?” Who knows, they may become your new best friend!

A little hope a day keeps the doctor away.

Dr. Orison Swett Marden once said, “There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.”

Those words are being reinforced by recent findings by psychologists and medical doctors about the positive health effects of having a little hope.

For example, one study found that those who reported feeling hopeless were more likely to have major health issues including premature death. Hope created by success in school and the workplace also improves health due to higher levels of happiness.

Knowing the good of maintaining high levels of hope for our well being serves as proper encouragement to take actionable steps to increase hope. Here are some ways to get your daily dose of hope.

1. Practice Self Kindness.

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy.

When our negative inner monologue gets going, it can strip us of our self worth. If we don’t feel that we’re worth good things, then we can’t help manifest goodness in our lives.

Instead, take 10 minutes out of each day to list all the great things about yourself as a reminder of all of your worth and potential still left untapped.

2. Nix the News.

As important as it is to stay informed of current events, sometimes all that information can get overwhelming. Stepping away from the temptation of constantly staying connected can give a much needed break from bad news.

Without that overload of information, you’ll free up your thinking power for a more hopeful focus. Allow yourself to daydream instead and imagine the sort of world you would like to see this one become someday.

3. Make a Difference.

Giving back can be incredibly rewarding but it also offers us a chance for an additional dose of hope.

Consider sparing some time for a cause you find worthy and personally appealing. Volunteering, fundraising, or offering resources will all be greatly appreciated by those you help and are all extremely fulfilling.

The time you spend giving will instill a sense of optimistic purpose in you along with the feeling that you can help change the world.

4. Look For A Laugh.

Laughing not only feels good, but it is good for you!

Researchers have learned that “hopefulness increased significantly after watching the humor video" shown to patients.

Opt for watching your favorite comedy when hope is feeling a little low or spend some time with friends or loved ones who are always good for a giggle. Belly laughs won’t be the only benefit you get out of it!

When you start feeling like you’re suffering from a hope deficiency, take a daily dose for a revitalized sense of optimism and happiness. It’s just what the doctor ordered.

Do the math.

As you build your wealth through budgeting and saving, you may start setting savings goals like retirement, buying a house, or determining your net worth. The internet has a wealth of financial education and calculators that you can use to determine your financial destiny and how close you are to making some of your dreams a reality.

Here are just a few of the calculators that are available:

Net Worth: Your net worth is the value of all of your assets (house, cars, savings, etc) minus the amount of your liabilities (debt).

How Much Home Can I Afford: Use this calculator to determine what type of income is required for the mortgage your desire.

Rent vs Buy: Figuring out this equation takes more than just affording the mortgage payment. This calculator will help you figure out if the fees, taxes and mortgage payments are all within your financial range so you can make a wise decision between these two options.

Emergency Savings: Making sure you have the right amount saved in your emergency fund is important should an unforeseen event occur. Use this calculator to determine how long it will take you to save a certain amount to cover your current monthly costs based on your current salary.

What will it take to save a Million Dollars: Want to know how much you would need to retire with a million dollars? This calculator helps you to determine this based on your current savings plan and your desired age of retirement.

Pt. 5 of an in-depth series on destiny guided by T.D. Jakes' most popular lessons.

Have you ever wondered, “If God is always with me on the road to destiny, why in the world is the journey so difficult?” If you are anything like other people who have discovered their purpose and are actively pursuing it, that question must have occurred to you by now. Though the question is asked by people of destiny the world over, God never promised any of us that the road would be easy. In fact, He anticipatedthe difficulty of your journey and is using it for your benefit.

Let me explain.

First, let’s understand something people often gloss over: Your destiny is planned. It’s yours and belongs to no one else. Only you can achieve it, and no one else can take you there. You must trust God’s guidance and leading on the road to your purpose. With that being said, He explicitly promised you that He would be with you. Note that the promise isGod’s presence and not that you wouldn’t have to do the necessary work in the preparation process.

Many people get excited about their destiny and purpose, but rarely do they want to engage in the refining process that prepares them to stand in that purpose. Though God goes with you on the journey, strengthening, encouraging, and leading you, God’s presence does not abort the training process. He is with you, but you must go through the “wilderness” on the way to your destiny. The reason behind this is the wilderness experience is meant to prepare you and develop your character. It’s meant to bring you to the point of trusting God. The wilderness process removes from you everything that has nothing to do with your destiny.

You are placed in the process to be pruned. Everything that is not of faith will die in the wilderness process. The wilderness is designed to kill off all unbelief in you, purge your motives, and ready your heart.

To answer your question of why the road to your destiny is so difficult when God has promised to be with you, it’s all a part of your development to ensure your ability to not only arrive at your destiny, but also live in your destiny.